When I was in the 4th grade, on random – but mercifully infrequent – Friday afternoons, we would “have art.” Paper was distributed, crayons were exhumed from the bottom of desks, & an LP was put on the turntable. The mandate: Draw whatever the music, be it classical, jazz or pop, made us “feel.”
No assignment could have been more excruciating for my 9-year old perfectionist, bookish self. For one thing, I didn’t know how to draw & the idea of making arbitrary, expressionistic marks never occurred to me. Furthermore, since all I was feeling was panic, it was difficult for me to listen to, much less channel, the music. So I would sit there, silent & paralyzed by shame, & console myself with the thought that, even if I was a complete failure at “art”, at least I made the best grades in class.
Out of this experience arose two personal convictions & one general misconception that I held closely for the next several decades:
• I had no imagination.
• I had no artistic “talent.”
• One could be academically-inclined or one could be artistically-inclined, but one could not be both.
More’s the pity, since a scant 3 years or so later, I fell in love with the visual arts.
Fast forward to today. Given my 4th grade experience, perhaps it’s no wonder that I have mixed feelings about calling myself an “artist.” Oh sure, for the purposes of filling out forms or cutting to the chase during casual chitchat, it’s a useful word because it’s concise. But beyond letting people know you engage in some kind of creative activity, it really doesn’t reveal much. In fact, if truth be told, I suspect that many people are, well, suspicious of those who call themselves artists because, after all, anyone can, right?
So when someone asks me what I “do,” I prefer to say, “I paint & draw” & “I teach painting & drawing” rather than, “I’m an artist” & “I’m an art instructor.” In my blogs & on my website, I also refer to “making art,” “art-making” & “sharing everything I know about making art.” I love the way these phrases & sentences cut through much of the historical, cultural & societal baggage associated with the word “artist” as well as the way they place the emphasis on doing rather than being, on process rather than outcome. They even suggest that there is a collaborative element to making art: We may each be toiling away alone in our own studio, but sharing experiences & insights about the creative journey is helpful in achieving our common goal of enhancing the human experience.
After all, there may be a little red-haired 4th grader out there somewhere who needs to hear that drawing & painting are skills that can be learned, not special “talents” that are bestowed at birth. And oh, yes…that there is nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate the beauty of the world by making one’s paintings & drawings look “real.”